We're Here, and He is Alive

My father, May, Ray and I made it to Guangzhou (“Guan-zjoe”; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guangzhou) safely on Friday evening. I made it there extremely irritable and ugly, which produced nothing of value to my fellow travelers, nor to my soul. Some reasons for my few barbs and four-minute meltdown could be offered, but they’d only be seen for what they were – excuses. And so there begins and ends my vague public confession.


Ray did fantastic on the flight down. If it was any indication of how he’ll be on the flight home I think…oh, dear…I think I don’t want to think about the pending 24-hour travel day this Wednesday. Anyhow, he was great. After sleeping soundly for about an hour on my lap facing outward, he spent the another 10 minutes changing positions multiple times before deciding it wasn’t working for him. Admittedly, I had hoped he’d snooze a little longer, but my Benadryl experiment back-fired and he would have no part of it; so sitting there with a thimble full of the stuff, I ended up being the one to drink it. I’d make a terrible bad guy in the movies if the Mickey’s ended up in my drink.

The nearly six-hour trip down south was briefly broken up with a lay-over in Changzhou. We had to de-plane for 30 minutes so the flight crew could clean up after those passengers dropping off for good; then we got back on the plane with some new folks. It was here that Ray could “see” that he was getting on a plane, but he really couldn’t process that we were flying in the air. If most of us think about it, we can’t process that phenomenon either – we walk through some doors, sit down, watch stuff pass by in a small window, eat questionable food, and then we end up somewhere completely different in the world. Anyhow, the second leg was chewed up by eating snacks, playing with matchbox cars and the contents of the seat pocket, and watching a Thomas the Tank Engine video on a DVD player bought for this trip.

We landed sometime just after 8pm. It was dark by that time, yet the thousands of lights around revealed a massive airport, which apparently is the fourth busiest in China, behind Hong Kong, Beijing, and Shanghai. Once off the plane, a bus road us over to the terminal; a young couple was kind enough to see my struggles with carry-ons consisting of bags and a boy, and gestured for me to take one of their seats. I was much obliged.

We beat our bags to the baggage belt so a 20-minute wait was necessary once inside. The change in weather was immediately noticeable, having soared from Harbin’s sub-freezing to 80-ish degrees. My kahki’s and jacket quickly became undesirable, but had to stay on. I did take off Ray’s turtle-neck, exposing his white undershirt and the tight outline of his belly. During the wait, he and I walked around looking at all advertisements for automobiles; he is always pointing at cars and bikes.

Eventually the five bags the three of us were looking for made it out, and we headed outside. Though May made the trip down with us, we’d have a new coordinator named Leila in Guangzhou. May would be training with Leila since the adoption paperwork is different, and to date May only has been exposed to the processes in the provincial cities. Like May, Leila was young. She seemed nice, and struck me as someone who had studied overseas; at this hour, however, having been up since one o’clock in the morning, I was way too exhausted to establish a rapport.

The five of us took a 50-minute van ride to our hotel, all of it being a blur for me (it could have been 10 minutes, or two hours and ten minutes for all I knew). The van stopped at the doors of The Victory Annex. I slogged in, and my dad and I checked into our rooms. We were on the fourth floor, right next to each other.

The room is much bigger than in Harbin City, and apparently larger than if we had stayed in the other two popular hotels here – The White Swan and the main Victory Hotel (the Annex is, well, an annex of it). It was yet another perfect recommendation of Jim and Angel.

I unpacked, and Ray moved the stuff that I unpacked around. There was a desire to “do it differently” than in Harbin, to be more organized. That desire just held true to its definition, and won’t become a reality. Another thing in common with the Zheng Ming Jin Jiang Hotel is that I have a Put-It-Out-of-Ray’s-Reach place. It’s a shelf this time.

Ray and I Skyped home to talk to his momma. It was late Friday morning for Rose, so her day was well underway. We were probably only on for about fifteen minutes before saying good-bye, as Ray and I needed to hit the hay. He really has done well ever since that Monday night with going to bed, or napping. We read a few books, and I dim the lights a little more after each one. Eventually the room becomes dark, I give him some kisses, tell him I’m his daddy and I love him, then we snuggle off to sleep.

So why are we even in Guangzhou? Good question. As nice as it may be, we are not here for our health. The short version is China considers us adoptive parents of Ray, and now it is the United States’ turn to say so; and since the U.S. Consulate and the U.S. Embassy are in Guangzhou, so are we. Nearly all American families who adopt from China leave via this city. Saturday morning we were right out of the bed with adoption stuff. Ray and I were to meet Leila down in the lobby at 9am. I tried to make it to breakfast with Ray, but figured it would jeopardize our ability to be on time; so he had water and two breakfast bars. You won't believe this, but he didn’t wither away on me.

Once down in the lobby I had a real treat of finally meeting Sarah and Glenn Houston! They have been journeying to their beautiful little girl Naomi, and are accompanied by their little boy Daniel and Sarah’s mother Anita who, to immediately get on her good side upon meeting her, I said, “And you must be Sarah’s sister!” (Seriously, schmoozing aside, they are both very pretty ladies, and may as well be twins). Rose and I had traded emails over the past month with the Houston’s, and they are even nicer in person; you can check out their journey at http://myadoptionwebsite.com/naomi/. We are also with a third AGCI family, Kenneth and Monica Rahilly, who have adopted their daughter Ella. I think she’s four years old, yet I know she is beautiful. The Rahilly’s are a good family from New Hampshire, though Boston must be in Ken’s background based on his accent.

Our three families would be heading over to the Healthcare Center of Guandong International Travel, taking our children there for an evaluation. Stuff somewhere in the mounds of documents we’ve received in the past year is a line that goes something like this: the doctor’s appointment basically only reports that your child has a pulse. And yet, taking a quick moment now to read the travel book from our agency…we did not…have a “Polyclinic appointment at the U.S. Embassy” and were not “given a sealed envelope which must be put with your child’s documents for the U.S. Consulate.” Uh, huh. Well, our agency is getting paid to get us through, so I’m certain they will get us through (on time), sealed envelops or not.

We left the hotel together, and it was markedly different that Harbin. I won’t say better in its soul, but definitely better for families. I know nothing about Guangzhou, but in my mind I’ve kept thinking it would remind me of Florence, Italy, in that it would be a city one could walk in. Well who knows what “all of Guangzhou” is like, but where we are staying there are large sidewalks and streets that don’t have as many cars racing through. I could actually put our big boy in a stroller, to give his father a break. Bonding may be good for the heart, but it ain’t good for the back.

Before the doctor’s visit we took a brief stop to get Visa pictures for our children. It seemed to be just a photo shop, but it does brisk business with adoptions, as there were ten or so children leaving just as we popped in. First up with Ella, then Naomi, and finally Ray. He sat up there a little lumpy, but worthy of a picture, or so I thought. The photographer took about 45-60 seconds giving Ray instructions in Chinese about how to position himself. Yes, the universe has been around a long time, but a minute is long too for a three-year old. Wanting to record the moment, I knelt down and snapped a picture. The photographer, who I was directly next to, immediately turned and stared as if to say, “Hey, what are you doing? I just looked at him and said, “Well, somebody’s gotta take a picture today.”

Outside again, we took a short walk to the clinic. In that walk we went by a building that was getting renovated and there was scaffolding from the ground to the roof…scaffolding made 100% out of bamboo. Apparently there is no OSHA-like in China.

We made it to the clinic in a few minutes, the time being around a quarter ‘til ten. Like the photo shop, there was a lot of activity, just on a larger scale. We headed to the back area: “Examination Room for Adopted Children.” At least nominally, it seemed to be the right place.

Ray and I just plopped down on one of the metal benches and waited for Leila to tell us what to do – and she did a few minutes later. I was to complete and sign a medical form that had four questions about Ray’s health. The second question asked whether the child had a fever over 100.4, or a cough. Well, Ray’s nose is training for the Olympics next year, as it’s been running since we got him on Monday; and I’m actually beginning to think it’s been like that since birth. Several times some women have asked (in the spirit of helping the helpless father, no doubt) if I need a tissue for his nose. I just reply, if I wiped his nose every time it needed wiping, all I would do is wipe his nose. But none of this mattered for the evaluation – I was just to answer no, no, and no. Yes!


After this form was ready I was to hit three stations with Ray, in no particular order – just git ‘er done. We stood in the shortest one first, which ended up being a visual check of his ears and his mouth. Initially I held Ray while sitting in chair and then he sat by himself, enabled by the lure of banging on a Sesame Street keyboard.

Then we went to the second station, which consisted of “taking his temperature” and weighing him. The former quotations are symbolic of my cynicism: two children before had recorded 97.9 for their temperature and – hey, would you look at that! – Ray’s was…97.9. Who knows. But we did get to an idea of his weight which was 14.5 kgs which converts to 55 lbs. No wait, he just feels that heavy because he’s compact; he’s really just shy of 32 lbs.

Ray was tremendous the whole time, and only had a scare on the last station, which I’m thankful wasn’t the first one chosen since it could have set a bad tone. It was understandable to be upset since we needed to take his shoes, socks, and pants off for a visual of stuff.


All boxes checked. Our son has a pulse. 535 RMB paid. Done.

(shot of Glenn with sweetie pie Naomi)

(An eye-chart for children over five. Neat, but lacking precision.)

Ray and I strolled back to the hotel alone, as the Houston’s and the Rahilly’s had finished a little earlier, and May and Leila zoomed away once Ray’s paperwork was handed over. Speaking of paperwork, I had a three o’clock date with Leila to process whatever was remaining to do. So while there was time to kill, it would be used to eat-lunch-for-breakfast, and lay Ray down for a nap.

Ray, my dad, and I went down to eat on the “M” floor which was right above the first floor (don’t ask, because I don’t know). Not a single person was dining so we had pick of the place, and chose a window seat so we could gaze down on the street below. We were able to get a high-chair for Ray, which was good – the entire time in Harbin his mouth was literally table-top high, which only exacerbated the see-food diet he was on.

My father and I shared two dishes: one was curried lamb and potatoes over rice (sounds fancier than it tasted), and the other being a pasta dish with prosciutto and finely sliced vegetables. For Ray, I decided to order a ham and cheese sandwich – a foretaste of reality. The poor boy was struggling to eat a sandwich, um, with a spoon since he didn't know how to pick it up with hands and eat it. We're working on.

Ray ended up falling asleep for a nap around 1:30pm which, while wonderful, would pinch the 3pm paperwork appointment. I called down to the front desk and asked if a Leila was in the lobby. She was, and we negotiated a new time, but it was never used since our room phone rang moments later and it woke Ray up.

The paperwork would take place on the ‘M’ floor, so off to it. It was just the fathers – Glenn, Ken, and me. And my dad was there, with Ray; without his help just forget it. Leila seems to be kinda all business and tried to run a tight ship, as tight as can be expected with three jokers. What I want to say about adoption paperwork is that IT IS DONE (except for post-placement and re-adoption processes, but let’s get home and worry about that later). There’s a Monday morning appointment with the US Consulate and if there are any issues they’ll be addressed then and there.

Several hours had passed and it was now the evening. Ray had a sponge bath – he doesn’t like them – and we had room service for dinner. Then we settled down for bed, the first of four full Guangzhou days over.